Grief . . .

Mother died on June 24th around 6:45 p.m. here at home, suddenly and unexpectedly.  It was the most traumatic thing I've ever lived through.  I will never get it out of my mind.  Her funeral and internment was this morning, and blessedly brief.  She had a very small turnout and got few flowers.  I am heartbroken I've lost my mother but she is no longer miserable and is in a better place.  In that I find peace.

It's still very hot, the air conditioner I'd bought for Mom's room I put in here, and at night it is better, during the day not so much.  I'm hoping for a better environment soon but that remains to be seen.  One thing is I can simply spend more time outside and that's good.  I'm thinking we might have lost Snoopy he's not in the yard and not coming when I call, I think he's taking up at someone else's house on 3rd street.  But I can't help it I can't contain him.

Pain . . .

I have been waking up with the worst back pain.  My back hurts normally because of my job but should stop hurting as I lie down and sleep and usually does but lately I've been waking with horrible back pain.  It's back again today.  I hope it subsides.  I don't know if I work tonight I have to stop at the store when I'm in town and ask to see the schedule.  I'm tired of calling up there and there be rude people.  Sick of it.

All Kinds of Problems . . .

First and foremost I cannot get paid because as a former employee of my current employer I cannot get a new paycard and of COURSE I destroyed the old one after I quit.  NOW I have to see if my boss will give me a temporary pay card to cover the one I lost.  It's a process and I hope it works out, I need my money!  THEN I go to WalMart to get a new pair of pants because I didn't get a chance to wash the ones I have and the ones I wanted OF COURSE they were out of so I bought the only pair in a size conceivably big enough and I'm pretty sure they won't fit so I'm going to be so screwed tonight.  But laundry tomorrow no matter how tired and sore I am.

Otherwise I think things are going ok still waiting on the admissions to call me about Mom, they need to hurry.  She has started to fret about being left here alone at night which pisses me off.  But ... what can I do I will not leave this job on that account, she'll just have to deal.