Panic . . .

I today got the last details sent to the nursing home where mother will spend the rest of her days.  If they don't hurry and admit her, I don't know what is going to happen with my job.  All of a sudden she is in a panic about being left alone.  Thank the GODS I have 3 days off straight after tonight and they SHOULD have her admitted in a couple of days.  Then to tend to the OTHER thorn in my side.  But we'll see, that is about to come to a head as well ... I've had enough.

Work is going well.  Blogsters don't know yet but I got a job about a week ago at WhatABurger.  I work nights and though the work is overtly tiring due to my age and weight, it's not such a bad way to make a living.  A lot of the people are warming to me and I'm trying not to be such a weirdo but so many people have NOTHING in common with me it's best I stay quiet.  But we get along and sometimes have a laugh.  I get free food and all the water (or soda, I just opt for water because I need it) I can drink.  Can't top that, right?  And it's WhatABurger, the best food in town!

All Things In Their Time . . .

For better or worse life is changing for me starting tomorrow.  I start a job and I start trying to fix everything that's broken.  My home, my autonomy, my life, even the remains of my Mother's life.  Were I left on my own this would be accomplished in short, obtainable goals.  But now the Intruder has come on the scene and is making things harder again.  I was feeling wonderful about the future now I feel like shit again.  But even as this black cloud descends, I think of alternative paths.  When the time comes, I will take one.  This in it's own time.

The Magic of Waiting . . .

I was sitting outside calling for Snoopy to come home.  I stopped for a few minutes and just watched the wind blow through the trees.  Smelling the freshness of the rain fueled air and wondering on the steps I need to take to accomplish some of the goals I've set for myself over the upcoming week.  I looked down and magically, Snoopy was quietly sitting beside me watching the trees as I was.  I petted and praised him for coming to me and promised him a chicken breast if he'd come in.  He did so he got his treat.  Next time maybe he'll come to me a little quicker to get his treat!  Though it won't always be chicken breast, we simply had 2 left over from a chicken dinner gone by.  I gave the other to the mother-to-be Annie to get her into the house.  All are snug as bugs in rugs now so let the rain pour.  We're sound now.

10 Days to MayDay . . .

Hoping things improve next month around the house it's been a trial to stay sane lately.  I'm thinking of the future and trying to work up a plan but it's hard when others are involved that are so in the way.  But it hasn't been too bad and hopefully in days to come it will be better, maybe by November.  We'll see.

Gearing Up for Pay Day . . .

Such a pain in the arse Mother will NOT wait for anything.  She gets it into her head she's going to do something if someone has to DIE she's going to do it.  We need to wait until we get paid to have our car looked at but nothing do her but call the guy NOW to see if he will come look at it.  He doesn't NEED to come look at it a professional has TOLD us what's wrong with it he just needs to come out and FIX it but he can't DO that until we get PAID but she will not wait.  And I know the whole thing is boiling down to her wanting fast food.  We've only eaten out a couple of times this month because the car has been broken down, frankly, I feel better than I have in a while getting some veggies in me and eating lighter.  NEWSFLASH MOM when the car is repaired we are still going to be mostly cooking.  I'm sick of fried chicken.

The Rain Has Stopped . . .

It's a lot warmer now and wouldn't you know the air conditioner in the living room is having problems.  The connector got wet and until it dries out the machine won't come on so we're in a pickle there because it irritates an already irritated Mother.  But we'll persevere.  Just waiting on payday to get this month underway and get things rolling to be a tad happier in a few areas.  The garden will give me much peace and I'm going to try to get Mother involved somehow not sure how yet.  But really, it's' a space for me to be on my own, in my own mind, earthing, grounding, being one with nature and spirit.  So we'll see.  Lots happening this year, I'm hoping, lots good.

NASCAR Has Returned!!!

So last Sunday, and Thursday, and tonight racing ensued.  I don't normally watch the Truck series but I did tonight I knew it was coming on and there was nothing else on so I figgered what the hell.  It was a good race, Sauter won, a driver I do like so there's that.  Tomorrow is the first Xfinity series race cannot wait for that and Sunday is the Daytona 500 and if I'm interrupted for THAT I may have to kill someone.

Otherwise life is as life is, a big steady bummer.  I have a lot I want to do tomorrow around watching the race I hope to get a good bit accomplished.  It's a lot of work though and I've been in rather foul humor of late.

I'm so looking forward to getting my seeds started.  I'm still waiting on an order from Breck's I ordered some toad lily bulbs FINALLY.  Next order will be Bletilla orchid as mine has been murdered most effectively by my fucking dogs (I think).  I also have like $70 worth of plants at Wayside Gardens in my cart.  Better start paying up these credit cards, huh?  And I SWORE I wouldn't buy plants this year, just work with my seed.  Methinks I lied.