Gearing Up for Pay Day . . .

Such a pain in the arse Mother will NOT wait for anything.  She gets it into her head she's going to do something if someone has to DIE she's going to do it.  We need to wait until we get paid to have our car looked at but nothing do her but call the guy NOW to see if he will come look at it.  He doesn't NEED to come look at it a professional has TOLD us what's wrong with it he just needs to come out and FIX it but he can't DO that until we get PAID but she will not wait.  And I know the whole thing is boiling down to her wanting fast food.  We've only eaten out a couple of times this month because the car has been broken down, frankly, I feel better than I have in a while getting some veggies in me and eating lighter.  NEWSFLASH MOM when the car is repaired we are still going to be mostly cooking.  I'm sick of fried chicken.

The Rain Has Stopped . . .

It's a lot warmer now and wouldn't you know the air conditioner in the living room is having problems.  The connector got wet and until it dries out the machine won't come on so we're in a pickle there because it irritates an already irritated Mother.  But we'll persevere.  Just waiting on payday to get this month underway and get things rolling to be a tad happier in a few areas.  The garden will give me much peace and I'm going to try to get Mother involved somehow not sure how yet.  But really, it's' a space for me to be on my own, in my own mind, earthing, grounding, being one with nature and spirit.  So we'll see.  Lots happening this year, I'm hoping, lots good.

NASCAR Has Returned!!!

So last Sunday, and Thursday, and tonight racing ensued.  I don't normally watch the Truck series but I did tonight I knew it was coming on and there was nothing else on so I figgered what the hell.  It was a good race, Sauter won, a driver I do like so there's that.  Tomorrow is the first Xfinity series race cannot wait for that and Sunday is the Daytona 500 and if I'm interrupted for THAT I may have to kill someone.

Otherwise life is as life is, a big steady bummer.  I have a lot I want to do tomorrow around watching the race I hope to get a good bit accomplished.  It's a lot of work though and I've been in rather foul humor of late.

I'm so looking forward to getting my seeds started.  I'm still waiting on an order from Breck's I ordered some toad lily bulbs FINALLY.  Next order will be Bletilla orchid as mine has been murdered most effectively by my fucking dogs (I think).  I also have like $70 worth of plants at Wayside Gardens in my cart.  Better start paying up these credit cards, huh?  And I SWORE I wouldn't buy plants this year, just work with my seed.  Methinks I lied.

Things Are Starting To Wear On Me . . .

Nothing is acceptable about my life.  I need two things I find it so hard to come by:  strength and courage.  But I'm working on it.  Once I get going I will be fine but it's taking that first step, doing that one thing ... that is stopping me.  But it's a hurdle and hurdles can be mastered.  There is one thing I do possess.  Determination to make the positive changes I need to make.  Some are easy, it's the hard ones that are getting me, but these too shall be trampled before too long.  I just have to find the courage of my convictions and take that first major step.  Nothing will ever change if I don't and for the better everything will change when I do.

Freaking Cold . . .

It is so cold.  Below freezing lows for six days straight.  I am personally very tired of it.  I hope it ends soon.  I know we will have it to deal with throughout February, but should be seeing more 60-70 degree highs more often.  Enough of this freezing crap and they are saying now one morning we will have a 'wintry mix' to contend with.  I used to love cold weather but now it can suck a nut I'm sick of it and just want it warm again.

Another New Year . . .

I don't really do resolutions but I do think in new years we should strive to do better than our last.  I'm striving to get out more and move more and be just an overall better person.  I also will strive to stay out of chat as much as possible and work in more creative endeavors.  But it's a rough beginning to the year so I cleave to negative things.  I'll do better.  As the temperatures rise I'll feel more like doing more.  Today was nice, a walk to the mailbox (1/4 mile distance) was refreshing and soul cleansing.  I will do that daily.  Question is how to keep the dogs home.

A Day of Decisions . . .

So I'm listening to an interview of Stephen King along with Tabitha and Owen.  Listening to these interviews always gets my gears unstuck so of course ... I've made a decision.  I'll start reading in bed and writing ONE HOUR A DAY from now on I know JUST the hour to use too.  I happen to agree with Stephen and seriously I'm wasting time.  So starting tonight for the reading (although I may do some writing tonight, it's kind of a bad day).  On we go!