Another Day of Retrospection . . .

Whenever I plug in Julie & Julia it's a day of retrospection.  Of how instead of having to clean the house, cook a meal I'd rather not eat, and listen to my mother whine, I'd rather be writing.  And should be.  A recent event has prompted yet another beginning I've titled The Phoenix and I have two directions I can go with it.  One is the Oprah Winfrey way and I despise that way and the other caters to a lesser audience and will set my path in the right direction for me.  But it's only a paragraph old yet, and so on I go.

Not that I'm adverse to cooking.  I love to cook, and indeed on my newly formed Amazon wish lists I now have 11 cookbooks waiting for me to plunk down the green.  I also have a recipe box I've been keeping for several decades that is too full to even slip one more clipped recipe in.  I have a few cookbooks also, some I've actually cooked from, and a recipe folder on my hard drive brimming with good eats.  I continually dream of the day Mother is comfortably ensconced in the nursing home and I can garden, cook, and write to my heart's content, because really, that's all I want to do. 

Bleh Kind of Day . . .

On this rainy day I've made some decisions:

1)  I am not going to watch the season opener of  The Walking Dead (listening to Spicks and Specks as I type).  I'll follow the Twitter feed to see who we lost.  I just can't take watching it.

2)  I'm working hard to get a job.  I was going to get up today and start making phone calls but realistically I can't.  I have some preparation I have to do before I can be presentable to people.  The rain is a deterrent.

Other than that there isn't much else going on in my mind other then why does all this shit have to happen to me and at a time when we have absolutely no money to deal with anything.  The air conditioner went out in the living room and we can't replace it.  So on we go.

On A Dark Rainy Day . . .

They finally came out to repair/replace our washing machine.  They couldn't fix it so they replaced it until they could fix ours.  But it's raining so we can't wash anyway, maybe it'll break a little tomorrow and we can get a couple of loads in and dry.  We'll see.  My bedspread is in dire need of cleaning.  So is my comforter.

About the rain it started a few days ago.  It's been on and off raining since but such nice temperatures.  Not out of the 80s.  Watching a Twilight Zone that had to do with the burning times.  Fun.  One more episode and it's a marathon of Hoarders.  Perhaps it'll get me up and cleaning my own home.  Down in my back this morning though, slept wrong or something.

Waiting . . .

For the phone company to come and fix the phone.  For better or worse they gotta come.  I just want it to get over with so I can hit the store for FOOD.  Out of everything.  Woke again hating the world, was doing fine then Mother threw one of her fits and I had to get up and endure, but good I got up a little early so I could get the tweaking done.  Once they leave probably in a day or two I'll move everything out of that corner and get it all cleaned up and finish the rest of the house, give it a nice polish.  That way not so much of a hassle to keep it up.  I need a soda now and to check on the current incense stick, might need to start another one.

I Really Need To Do Something

About Mother.  She is just so miserable and there is nothing I can do about it.  I want to look into respite care.  I talked about it with her once, but when it came to calling them she didn't want to do it.  There is an Adult Day Care around here but I know we won't be able to afford it and I don't know that her insurance covers it.  I'll keep looking.  I don't know what to do I wish I could just shove her in the home and people would leave me the hell alone.  But I just have to ride this until that IS what happens or something I don't know, I just do not know.