My Pot Farm is SMOKIN'!

I have a lot going on with the farm these days.  In addition to the whiskey still and wine maker, I have a pot corn popper, a brewery, an oil press and a blonde hash press.  When these gadgets get movin' I make mega bucks!  I'm almost to 3,000,000,000 coins!  It's a lot of fun to play that game.  I'm going to break down and buy a nacho maker since I plant so many tomatoes anyway.  Yesterday I got my love pig and bubbly love pig back I was so blessed.  I'll try not to do something that dumb again.  Ok I gotta go find that nacho maker!

Alright!

Being the retard I can sometimes be it was no surprise that last week while playing Pot Farm I inadvertently sold my love pig AND my bubbly love pig.  Fortunately, this kind of thing must happen a bit on the game, and I was able to request retrieval of them.  They were returned to me today.  I'm so glad!  I was PISSED I did that.  But it's all good now, at least on the farm.  Back at the ranch, on the other hand, it's still upheaved.  Mother's christmas cactus got knocked down by the cats and she's on the warpath again.  I hope she's better now she seems to be.  Ok so on that note I'll be off to see what other trouble I can find.

Just Another Monday . . .

I am attempting to get back on program with my diet though.  Lost 2 pounds since last week, I'm walking around more and doing more so that helps.  I've been mentally exhausted with everything going on these days, but I have no control over any of that.  I am going to begin a regular routine of writing though, set goals and work to meet them.  Both reading and writing, I've not done enough of either in the last few months to be worthwhile.  I have got to find a job but I just don't know how.  No one around here is hiring, rather, they are not hiring ME.  My only outlet now is fast food and I dread that.  But we'll see maybe it won't be so bad.  Working weekends is what I fear, as I don't want to miss NASCAR.  I can get Tivo, maybe.  We'll see that's in the future a ways.  More on the morrow, just jotting down my thoughts.

Freaking Brrrrrr!!!!!!!

27 Degrees tonight, 29 tomorrow night.  I've covered the plants but I think it's in vain.  We'll see.  30 on Wednesday night.  But I hope the blankets and sheets dry some to make it easier to use them the rest of the time.  Not ready for Winter yet but here it is.  Let's hope it passes quickly.  I am, of course, living for February.  The Duels are the 16th and the Shootout is the week after then that weekend is the Daytona 500.  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh just to get it here.  I'm so missing my Kasey!

A Little Got Accomplished . . .

For starters, I got the kitchen mopped.  Clorox has a floor cleaner that is a "spring" scent, man that stuff smells GOOD can't wait to get the living room cleaned with it.  But that may have to wait till tomorrow, and even then, we have to take our puppy Charlie to the vet he appears to have distemper.  I hope it's something treatable, he's so adorable.

In other news it's totally a crappy day out there, there is a front coming in so it's cloudy, it's rained some this morning and by 6:00 a strong rainstorm is supposed to come in so it's going to get good and muddy.  But that's ok other than to the vets tomorrow I don't think we'll be going anywhere.

Accomplishing Much . . .

Waiting on today's first batch of dishes to dry before I get started on the next, my drainboard is full.  More usable dishes up for cleaning, bowls and silverware mostly.  We never can find a clean knife or fork.  Well, those days are over :).  It's a good feeling to accomplish tasks set out.  It's a battle, and accomplishment means winning.  I'm winning!

Well, It's Movement!

I'm little by little cleaning the kitchen.  Trying not to offend the Gods of the Back.  There is a very black cloud outside and thunder has ensued, so I hope for a violent storm, we need one.  I've swept the floor and cleaned the counter, I brought in my rinse pan and will soon separate the dishes to wash and get that part of it done then I can begin on the hallway and the back part of the house.  THAT, my friends is going to be fun.

Once that is done all that is left is the living/sleeping area, that's not a big deal other than we have to move the furniture and we actually need to move each piece to get underneath.  I was fishing under the couch and so much is crammed under there I couldn't move the broomstick.  But we'll see how it goes.  For now, ONWARD!

Blue Monday

Life's not so easy these days, so much to do and my back is still fussing. Some days good some days, like today, not so good but I have stuff I have to do and can't put it off anymore so will be smiling though it. I can do that. I foresee some rough seas ahead and I'm trying to cope and muddle through but my path is very very dark right now. In the end, it will be super fine and idealistic, but getting there may nearly kill me. 

But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, no? 

So onward I go to my new destiny.

Sadness . . .

         Uncle Doyle died yesterday.  They called us at 10:00 to tell us the news.  Supposedly they are shipping his body back to Texas for burial.  We’re waiting to see.  In contacting the funeral home to find out any details they may have Mother found out her friend Snookie, had also passed away and no one told her.  THAT is sad.  Uncle Doyle was 88 years old.

          On a lighter note I’ve lost again, 8/10s of a pound to 252 even.  I’d written Richard a couple of days ago and he never wrote me back and I’ve tried to get them to reinstate my membership and they haven’t so I don’t know what the deal is there.  But we’ll see I suppose.  Just glad to still be losing.  I could be mid 240s by this time next month, wouldn’t that be great.  I’ll see 230 by December 31^st at this rate!  I’m so proud of me right now.

          Trying to get the kitchen cleaned up I have to do a little bit and stop, it tires me out, so much to do.  I’ve swept and picked up all the garbage and bagged it, I need to replace the garbage bag but need to wait till the garbage can gets brought back up here, which I will probably do in a little bit, haven’t seen the garbage men yet.  I do hope they are coming.

          Going to go now and get stuff done.  More later, I’m sure.

Empty Promise . . .

I was pleased Jeff called me this morning for my birthday.  He said he would send me some money but we haven't heard from him anymore so I guess that's not going to happen.  That's too bad we could really use it.  But whatever.  I haven't felt well, don't feel too well today I have an infection in my mouth and it hurts.  I just took some ibuprofen, that usually helps.  I hope it's over soon I'm getting tired of it, it causes me lethargy, makes it hard for me to sleep, and is just damned uncomfortable.  But onward and forward, that's what I always say.

Might Be Going Dark . . .

We are about to lose our phone, cable and internet so I'll probably be getting a lot of writing done.  We're unable to pay the phone bill and all of it is interconnected.  Seemed that it would be cheaper that way but it hasn't worked out that way.  I don't know about this life, it's just so unfulfilling.  There is nothing I can do about it either.  My future looks very very bleak indeed.

Her Royal Majesty

We went out today and got another cellphone, my current phone bill has gotten so out of hand we can't pay it so we got a prepaid one.  Mother just called our friend and said it was "her" phone.  The bitch can't even dial the thing.

I've been sick lately I have an infection in my gum and it's seemed to spread like a virus over my body.  I feel like I'm coming down with something but the only real problem is my mouth so whenever that goes away I guess I'll be ok.  As is it's nothing short of torture for me to eat.  Think that stops me?  HELL NO.  But I don't think I've done badly today.  We'll see in a day or two I'm not ready to weigh again just yet.

Onward to other things, I got a little Vivitar digital camera, nothing fancy mostly something I can snap garden pictures with.  I now need to get is a SD Memory card whatever the hell that is.  More on the morrow.

Not A Great Day . . .

Not feeling well today.  Mouth is sore, tummy is tender.  Back still giving me fits in the morning but I do think that's getting a little bit better.  This morning I made my own breakfast, almost didn't make it but did it finally.  It just hurts so much to stand in the morning.  I did a little housework, swept the living room, will tackle the kitchen tomorrow maybe, maybe not as we'll be going to town.  I know this, I will be in a wheeled vehicle in the store, I can't walk that long.  I just wish it would get better, you know?  I get so tired of not feeling well, and I know it's just that I need to get up and get out more.  I'll see what I can do about doing that.

Discomfort

I'm so uncomfortable.  The only real place I have to sit is in a lawn chair brought in from the yard with a pillow across the back.  It's SOOOOOOOO uncomfortable.  It's not bad when you are sitting at the computer and using it, but when you've done everything you want to do and you want to watch tv it's a bear.  So I've started sitting on the couch more but it's not good for my back, it's been getting worse lately.  

Remember the talk we had about autonomy?  I am getting a prepaid debit card to put money on in my name :).  When I get a job they will load the money on to that rather than mess with a bank account.  Amazing how many people are going this route, I love it myself.  My card actually allows me to move money aside in a savings.  Doesn't pay interest but it will help to put money back and have it for emergencies.  Can't wait till it gets here, will probably break it in at Amazon or something.

Back In Motion?

Going to make attempt to reorganize my area and clean the living room and kitchen.  Wash the dishes, clean the floors, but try not to offend the gods of the back.  This morning I got up and as usual my back was screaming, but not as loudly as it usually does.  It's not getting completely well, and nothing I take by way of pain medication seems to help. I thought I'd try ibuprofen just one more time before I get started on the cleaning project just to see if it will help some. Otherwise I'm going to have to live with the pain and try to learn how, it's not going to be easy.

Autonomy

Autonomy is pretty important.  Having a phone in your name, having mail that comes addressed to you alone.  Your name being "out there" is pretty important.  So I sit here losing my autonomy day by day, really.  Everything associated with this house and property is in Mother's name.  I've lost my cellphone because the bill got up so high there is simply no paying it, so we are going to a prepaid plan the first of the month, Mother wants the phone in HER name.  Fine.  Fine, fine, fine.  Everybody wants me to get a job.  BEWARE!  I just may!  And when I regain my autonomy, watch out!

Interesting Astrology

Mars, the warrior of the zodiac, has hardly felt at home in diplomatic Libra, where it has impatiently set up camp for the last month or so. However, all the passive-aggressive behavior caused by this transit comes to an end on August 23, when Mars moves out of Libra and into Scorpio (the sign it co-rules with Pluto), bringing relief. "Relief" could be a slight exaggeration, though, given the Mars-Scorpio tendency toward vengefulness and an inability to forgive and forget. Fortunately, this pairing also produces relentless determination, which, if focused on worthwhile projects and goals -- rather than paybacks! -- can bring impressive results!

However, before Mars and Scorpio can shift into high gear, dreamy Neptune will come along for a couple days of indecision and inaction. First, on August 24, Neptune pits itself in direct opposition to the practical, no-frills Virgo Sun, at which point your spirituality, artistry, and compassion will butt heads with reality! Then, on August 26, Neptune sidles up to Mars, a transit that can lead to panic if your resolve fails you. However, if you can turn your attention back to those Neptunian traits dulled by the Sun only two days before, you'll enjoy a surge of Mars-fueled energy!

Tis a Day in the Life . . .

I'm trying to not offend the back gods, mine seems finally to be on the mend, it feels fine right now, finer than it has in days and days.  I hope this nightmare is behind me.  Now to pay the medical bill.

I'm just chugging along, I stopped looking for work because we can't afford gas for me to go to interviews.  Plus the one agency that I really want to hear from hasn't contacted me so I don't know if they will help me or not.  I need to go back to using a relative's address in Houston when I apply for work, I'm pretty sure no one is going to hire me living out here in the boonies.  But we'll see.  I don't give up.

So Tired . . .

I'm so tired of things going wrong.  Breakers going out in the house causing us to have to live in an overheated house for days and nights at a time, and Mother's horrendous attitude.  You know I don't believe we're going to have one stroke of good fortune or luck as long as she lives under this dark cloud of despair.  But she's been there all her life.  Anyway, I'm just ready for a happy change.  A good turn.  A fortunate moon, something.  I did win $3 on lotto last night, turned that money in on 3 Texas Two Step tickets, first time playing it, it could mean $200,000.00.  But we'll see.  Mostly I just needed to vent.  I hope the heat breaks soon, but I know it won't until October.  So here's to October, and a fortunate moon.

This Is Not Good . . .

It's Sunday and I can't watch racing.  I don't really care for the road race, but still, it's racing.  SO I have to keep up using lap-by-lap on nascar.com.  What the deal is there is something broken in the connection in our subdivision, our cable company is switching to all digital (as is everything electronic) and there is a fault somewhere in our area and they probably won't have it repaired until mid next week, if then.  I will tell them this:  if it's not done by Friday they will lose a customer.  The only real problem we had with Lake Livingston cable/internet is that it went up too high on the bill, but we've not caught a break with either Satellite or Suddenlink, so we may go back.  I don't care either way I just want my damned television back.


In other news, well, there isn't any.  It's hot, there is a tropical storm in the gulf (Debbie), and our temps have begun to tease the triple digit mark.  Ain't life grand.  It's not so bad in the morning but starting at around one o'clock it starts getting hotter and the acs help but not as much as I wish they would.  Anyway going to go now and find something to do, more blogging elsewhere, likely :).

Procrastinator Extraordinaire . . .

I had designs on getting up today and getting stuff done but pooped out mid-day.  Oh well tomorrow's another day.  I did go out and check the garden and watered the back part and my mini rose, we're not due more rain for over a week now so I better get regular about watering or I'll lose everything.  I really need to get something going NOW for winter.  I'm not losing another garden to frost.

I Wish . . .

I wish I were left alone more.  I'd like to be able to take Mother somewhere for a couple of hours a day, a couple of days a week, so I could just have some time to myself.


I wish I could get myself to do more with the time I've got.  Finish a novel, get this weight off, landscape the property.


I wish life was much more uncomplicated.  I wish for more money and more freedom.


If wishes were horses, dreamers would ride.

Bleh . . .

I'm so disgusted lately.  All I'm doing is getting fatter, I'm not doing shit, I feel like shit.  But I'm working on it.  I can't sit here and do nothing forever.  For one thing I'm going to clean this room again.  Get outside in the evening and walk.  Eat cleaner.  Lose this weight.  Finish my novel.  Market it.  Sell it. Start my life, again.  And on that, on to getting it done.

So Tired . . .

Got back from WalMart we spent $145.00 and didn't buy all that much to eat.  We'd eat at Pueblo Viejo so Mother could have a nice lunch since she had a crappy Mother's day, I gorged myself.  But back on program tomorrow.  One good thing is we bought a box fan for this room it's heaven already.  We also bought a small fan for Mother's room she's happy with it.  I got me another box of cereal for breakfast, low fat poptarts for snacks.  Wednesday I am taking Sydney to Dr. McCluskey to get him neutered.  I hope he fares well I'm a little worried.  We have got to get Apple spayed, Sylver spayed, Sadie and PJ spayed.  That would ultimately end our dog population.

Sadness . . .

One of our dogs died tonight, a little 7 month old terrier.  It was very sudden, I think he may have been poisoned.  I'm so sad, he was a sweet little dog.  Rest in peace, my little Bear :(

Back To Normal?

We switched our internet and satellite back to Suddenlink cable.  I think we (I) made a huge mistake.  I keep forgetting how badly people hate our dogs, for starters, secondly, we don't get all the channels we had with satellite, so no more Monster Man unless I watch it on Hulu.  No Logo or Bravo either.  BUT we do get all the channels that NASCAR comes on, even Speed (we pay extra).  Main thing is I got my internet back my goodness I've not played that much Solitaire in my life I don't believe.  I even brought out Minesweeper for a while.  Should have spent the downtime writing but can't with all the interruptions.  It's been a hard two weeks.

It's Going to Be A Bumpy Ride . . .

It's going to start storming again tomorrow, going to be severe by Sunday I hope we don't get blown away, this trailer is not tied down.  I'm not really worried, I am worried about my plants though, starting my little garden again.  I need to cover my hawarthia it is living, even blooming, but I need to protect it from more wind and rain, it's  not doing all that great, I'm just hoping it makes it and comes fully back.  I rather expect my hosta to but I don't guess it is going to.  I'll get some more when we go back to WalMart once we get paid again.  I ordered some datura seed from Parkseed can't wait for them to get here.  In the meantime I have some seed I'm going to go ahead and plant here and there, maybe tomorrow before the rain but best wait till after I guess.  Going to go for now, just wanted to get something out there.


Later, 2:59 p.m.


Now the house is looking more like hoarders live here.  Mother insisted on getting that goddamned chair in here, well I think I have a broken back, but it's in here, it's way too big for the space and it STINKS.  Anyone dealing with an elderly person who gets unreasonably attached to a specific chair should be able to empathize.  There is a can of febreeze I can get to, I'll hose it down with that before I go to bed tonight and it can freshen it somewhat overnight.  We'll see how it goes.

Headphones

Ok so I got some headphones today so I can play around on the net and keep my YOUTUBE playlist up and not annoy the motherperson.  I pulled up Daydream Believer and favored it, but cried as it played, I still can't believe Davy was taken from us so far too  soon.  But it's not like I'd ever get to meet the guy  anyway, and excellent memories were left so, well, that's it.  I got  a set of speakers too but I don't know if they don't work well or I didn't have them plugged all the way in.  I'll check it out later.  I'm dead tired now.  Interesting note.  Before I turned on the music I had godawful stomach pain, now I'm fine.  Music heals, doesn't it?  Think I'll listen to Free For All again.

Storm Day . . .

Stormy today.  Warnings and thunder and everything.  Was going to start my porch exercising but can't in the rain plus I don't feel like it, not that I ever will I'll have to force myself to do it but I'll be happy once I get it going.  I can use the steps to warm up.  I need to clean the place but I can't change the mopwater, because of rain and no running water in the house.  I burned my first incense cone since we've moved in here surprisingly enough I didn't catch hell for it, yet.  So I guess it's going to be tolerated.  I'm going to rearrange those logs outside if I can to make a natural altar and come full moon begin rite outside.  There are things I need to do as there are things I need, mostly, a job.  Going to take some serious concentration to get that going.  I'm torn.  I am worried about going back to work, afraid Mother will hurt herself again.  But I have it to do.  More later.

Rainy Day . . .

But looking up.  My keyboard started working again, the lower keys wouldn't work earlier.  I still need a new one.  It's raining it's butt off out there, our place looks like an island, literally.  We have got to get dirt hauled in here and raise this place up some.  Every time it rains like this we get flooded in.

The place is coming along, we're getting used to being here and fix up a little bit at a time.  I'll be glad when all our crap is out from under tarps and safe.  I have no hope that all my cds have fared, I know some have but some are more exposed.

Anyway just updating, more on the morrow if a 'nado doesn't do us in.