Resolutions:

me too I want to lose a little weight, as much as I want, I want to read more, write more, color more and grow a gorgeous garden

I want to grow spirtually and be a beacon to those seeking, even if they are fucktards

These are new year's resolutions I'm making and intending to keep.  I've actually started working on them.  I want to do more of the things I WANT to do and also be diligent about doing the things I NEED to do.  I just need more hours in the day but I'm working on it.  Seriously I need to go to bed earlier and get up earlier.  That would give me more hours.

Another Shitty Christmas

Wouldn't be so bad if I could get out and get away somewhere but nope I'm stuck here.  Can not wait until the day I can throw all this shit out the window.

I'm going to start tomorrow (can't today, Mother is going to be whining and crying all day until she goes to sleep tonight) becoming more "me".  Living more like I want to live being more like I want to be doing more what I want to do.  Times they are a changin' and I'm going to have a better 2017 and beyond.  

Busy Today . . .

Have to get breakfast done and eaten and get started.  Laundry and the kitchen today.  Top to bottom clean and decluttered.  Tomorrow, THE LIVING ROOM.  Actually it's not that bad right now just one corner is going to be hard to do because it's where all the electronics are that govern the internet and cable.

Nice sunny and warm day today I burned up last night.  I think we're going to have near mid 70s as a high.  70 says the little weather thingy.  Maybe the winter will continue to be mild this year.  We'll see.  So much to do payday.  Have to get Mother another tower, try to get another microwave, get an electrician in here . . . ugghhh don't even want to think about it.

Anyhoot, more later maybe got to get going.

A Sad Time . . .

Mother's only remaining sibling, Tommy, died yesterday and it has just been absolute chaos.  The stress has sent more greycells to the buglight and she's just so badly getting on my last nerve.  On top of that the 3 pups that were born 2 months ago are dying, one died a few days ago, the other 2 will be gone within a day or two, Jr. overnight tonight I'm sure.  I am going to get Peanut spayed if I have to rob a bank I'm getting that dog spayed.  Our dog population will begin to dwindle.  I know Rusty and Tiny Tim can't hold out much longer those are both fairly old dogs.  I am just sick of this shit from one side to the other I can't stand it anymore.  It's hot today and she has had BOTH the heater and air conditioner on, she'll turn on the heater until it's too cold then she will want the heater on then back again with the air conditioner.  I don't know what to do.  I've no clue.  But this is just getting to be too very much.

Well . . .

On top of everything else mother's computer went feet up, so we'll have to get another one.  I hope to find another cheap refurbished for around $150.  In the meantime I can use the laptop.  If I need to pawn anything it will have to be the television.  I guess I better start shopping.  More later maybe.

How It's Going . . .

Not great.  There are problems with the house, the usual problems with the dogs, and it just being this time of year in general is just sucky.  Great day to wash but can't do it till Monday.

Yesterday was blustery and dark and cold and my friend and I went to a Wolf Sanctuary in Montgomery and had to leave early, it was just too cold and I didn't have  a jacket.  I had thought it was going to be sunnier and warmer than it was.  But the wolves we did see were lovely and interesting, mostly they were wolf/dog hybrids but were still very interesting.  The shitty part was Mother was supposed to go with me so she wouldn't get into trouble here by herself but she wouldn't go so I nearly lost Gypsy.  But she is safe and sound now, in the future I'll lock her up I guess, I'm going to lose her if I don't.

Here are the pictures I took at the sanctuary, I didn't have my vivitar with me, well I did but I'd forgotten the sd card so I used my phone:

A Dreary Fall Day . . .

It rained all night, and is dark and cold.  I still have to go to Walmart, pay out my layaway and get the crockpot we ordered.  I'm gonna freeze.  One thing I have to do when the sun comes back out is wash mother's jacket.  I need to get us both coats I hope to do that in January but don't know we're going to try to pay off our title loan then, we'll be lean one more month.  But after that we're home free.  Jack had come home but he is not happy here too many other cats and dogs so he comes around to eat and then skedaddles back to home #2 which I think is Eddie's at the end of the street.  I want to give him $20 for fixing our mail box for us.  I'll do that on my way out.  One night we're supposed to get a low of 29, it's starting early for us.  I'm glad it's cooler I just wish I had more warm clothes.

More later I have to get my coffee drank.

I Wish . . .

I wish I could get my lower teeth pulled.  I just broke one and two are loose.  I'll be glad when they all fall out if they will.  I think it costs about $300 a tooth to get em pulled.  Who's got that?  Not me.

My Thoughts On A Beautiful Day . . .

Sunny, breezy, but not too hot and not too cool.  Doing laundry, on a day like this it's not such a chore.  We hang out, no dryer.  Thankful for the breeze.

So it's secular holiday time again which puts me in turmoil I wish I didn't have to deal with.  This time it's going to be pretty nightmarish.  I used to be secluded from all this now I'm thrown in the middle of it all.  All I can do is tuck and roll and get over it best I can.  I'm thinking next year will either be a very good year or the year everything crashes around me.  Not a lot I can do to defend myself, all I can do is recover.

I've been in a foul mood lately, it's no wonder with things being in such a mess.  So I'm working on it a little at a time and hoping for the best, it's all I can do.

Cleanup Day . . .

Gotta do some cleanup today, mostly the living room where Mother is.  I don't know why she just throws things on the floor, I've put all kinds of trash containers around her and it' just easier to throw stuff on the floor I guess.  So I have to clean it up.

Breezy day today albeit hot.  83 or better will be the high, still summertime in mid-November.  Pain in the ass.  Had laundry to do but didn't get around to it, it's supposed to rain tomorrow so can't get to it till Saturday.  I have broadcast tonight, I guess I'll talk about crystals conducive to heightening psychic awareness and intuition.  I avoided broadcasts all last week.  I might see if they'll go off starting them at 6.  Better go and announce it.

SuperMoon . .

Tonight was the first night in a while I got to watch twilight go into dark.  I watched the moonrise for a while, it was really beautiful.  She is quite large and so bright!

Almost posted on personal fam business!  Oops!  Anyway I have to wash covering tomorrow, my comforter, her blankets and things.  With the weather and the shorter days it's a pain to get things to dry well enough.  As is she's going to be wearing damp jeans to the doctor's tomorrow because they didn't quite dry.  Would help of some darn wind would blow our way.  We do have a cool snap coming but still not a lot of wind I wonder what's up?  Global warming and stuff?

Anyway I'll probably have mournful stuff to post tomorrow so more then.

Visualization . . .

So I'm visualizing better days.  Through hard work and perseverance I hope to start at least getting out more and enjoying life as much as I can.  It's not that easy.

I'm not that political a person, I figure one leader is as bad as another but I'm particularly heartbroken with the choice so many uninformed Americans made for this election.  The  last two were equally bad, so really my patriotism is dwindling.  So I'm just living, as best and as happy as I can in the situations we are put in.  I think it not only bizarre, but ruthless, that if I had a job right now I'd be forced into insurance I can neither afford nor want, or face fine and imprisonment.  This is no longer America, because it is becoming less and less of a democracy.  Was it ever?  I know it's been better.  It's just sad, now.

The kittens have taken up in here with me on a part time basis so my desktop projects are often interrupted by kittens.  I have to go find Jack and get him in for a while I'm afraid we're going to lose him, he's been getting out and staying out all night, I don't like that, he doesn't stay home.

So on that I suppose I'll mosey on, I've work to do, lists to make.  At least today there is a little breeze.

It's Raining . . .

And Jack is outside and I can't find him so I PRAY he comes home tomorrow.  I figure we won't have him much longer, he's going to feel so unloved here.  But hopefully he's just under the trailer and will come out when the rain stops, it's not supposed to last long.  Never know though these rains can sometimes set in for days.  It will be cooling off a little though, that's nice.  I have to go tomorrow and check my mailbox, if Eddy can't do it I'll have to hire someone, Dan or someone like that.  We'll see.  We badly need it.  Just glad we could get it done.

Watching racing until TWD comes on I'm avoiding Twitter until I see it.  I forgot about it actually intended to forego the race to watch it.  But . . . it's no longer autotuned.  Have to fix that.  Salem is back on too but I've about had it with that show.  Satan in a child?  Pffftttt pulllllleeeeeeeeease.  I noticed in the last episode Mary is back alive so is Tituba.  Love those back from the dead scenarios.  Anyway going to go for a while, trying to finish coloring the gelpen project I'm on then I'll do a couple from SoulBird's Journey.  But the project is a fail.  It's off.

Can I STOP Now???????

My GODS am I tired of running around.  Today was just WalMart and the chicken place but WHOA am I tired.  And the chicken place shorted us rolls again SO, that's the swan song for Chicken Express, since Churches collapsed, nothing left but Popeyes but I'd rather them than CE, at least they have yet to short our order.  But I got the stuff home, Mother made herself  a plate using the new dinnerware we got, I made myself a plate once I got the groceries put up, and when I finished I used the new storage containers to put the leftover mashed potatoes/gravy and coleslaw in.  I'm so proud of our new kitchen utensils, we now have EVERYTHING we need.  But there is trouble on the horizon.  Mother said a car drove up while I was gone, drove into the driveway and a man started to get out but didn't.  This is the second time a vehicle has driven up here while I'm gone.  I  think I need to start my webcam recording when I leave with the camera facing the gate so I can see what's going on when I get home.  It's really frightening.

I'm going to have to meet the post person at the mail box on Monday when my package gets here because there are NO locking mailboxes within 100 miles of this place.  I'll wait till next month and just order one, we're too short this month.  I hate having it to do to begin with.  But I have it to do.

I have to get my butt moving on cleaning as well, will wake tomorrow and get going, I worked on the kitchen but with the shopping from yesterday and today there is a lot to put on the burn pile.  It will be more pleasant tomorrow and I won't be as tired.  I got a pretty coloring book at the store, called Magical Gardens.  VERY pretty, can't wait to color it.  But that's  a story for another blog.

Special Day!

So tomorrow we get our kitchen refill and I cannot wait.  Just to have cutlery, flatware and decent cookery will be so great!  Everything in my cart should be available for same day pick up.  Then I have to see to it that I can get the locking mailbox at Lowe's as they only have one left and I WANT IT.  I'll hopefully get our neighbor down the street to install it for us.  I'm sure he will.  It will be a busy and exhausting day but the benefits will be awesome.  It looks like we will have a good month, but you know how it goes here.

A Time Of New Beginnings . . .

Dark moon (or new moon to those non-practitioners) is a time to begin new projects and begin anew.  So my project is the home and hearth I have begun by doing a load of laundry, the cleanup session will begin shortly I may have a spot of lunch first.  It's difficult as I am having tooth pain and it is being relentless.  So I don't feel like doing ANYTHING.

I started a coloring page, one more before I start my experiment and thought I'd be done with it by now but it's with gelpens so I'm having to go very slowly, but it's looking beautiful.  From Natural Wonders Color Art book.  I had to pawn my television so I'll be following the race on the live leaderboard at Nascar.com.  On and off as I clean.

Life is moving on in it's slow as molasses rhythm just holding out till payday.  Next month SHOULD be a lot better, but we'll see.  The car can still croak at any time and anything can happen.  But we're still a go for the kitchen restock, I had to change out a couple of items because the original ones wouldn't be available right away and I want EVERYTHING the day I order it.  I have to make a list of the extra things I want when I go to pick it up, like a mandolin and mini tongs (for pickles).  I have a nearly $90 Amazon order but I may wait till December to get it, I want to get my tv out of pawn first.  Beginning in December we should be doing really well.  One thing I have to get first thing at WalMart (or Lowe's if WalMart is out) is a locking mailbox.  We are having an issue of people stealing mail from our box, they got a $70 jewelry delivery out of ours, thank GODS the company is going to replace it.  I'm hoping to have the locked box in place by the time it gets here.

Ok I gotta get up and get at it, more later maybe.

A Good Day . . .

It's been overall a good day, Snoopy came home after being missing since Saturday.  He was very hungry so he's not been fed.  I was very glad to see him.  He'll not be let out to roam anymore, he'll be put on a run or just a tie out for a few hours a day.  He's not going to like it but it can't be helped, we're going to lose him for good if we don't.

We're completely broke now so I'm hoping everything we have lasts us or we're going to be doing without.  Next month should be a whole lot better.  I know we'll be doing better in the kitchen with all our new things.  So excited!  New cookware, flatware, dinnerware, glassware, cutlery and food storage for leftovers!  Break out the recipe box!

The cooler weather has helped my mood somewhat but the chaos here just shuts it right down again, especially at night.  From 7 p.m. until Mother finally goes to bed it's hell.  Be right back she's whining now.

Back, ain't life grand.  The air in here is simply marvelous, from just in front of my door to the kitchen door is piping hot.  She's on and off had the heater on.  Literally every 15 minutes she's turning off the heater, turning on the ac, turning off the ac, turning on the heater.  It's insane.  And when I DO cook oh lawd is it hot in that kitchen.  One of our investments is going to be a wind machine, these are particularly strong little fans.  I MUST have one for the kitchen, an absolute must.

So on that I depart.  Things are somewhat looking up, just one more thing would make it wonderful.  A JOB.  But all things in their time.

My Civil Duty . . .

Spent the morning in court on Jury Duty, have to go back at 1:30.  Guess I'll be picked.  At least it's criminal so it'll be interesting.  Last time sucked.  I worry about leaving the house like this plus we have a delivery scheduled so I'm worrying about the little dogs and the kittens.  Worried about Annie or Snoopy biting someone.  But we'll see.  Got it to do.  At least I get out a little.  Downloading a second movie of the day, The House of Usher.  I was able to get 4 of the Good Witch movies, not great uploads but they'll do till I can get the dvds.  Found a box set of em but the source has a lot of complaints about pirating and scams, so, I'll keep looking.  Perhaps Hastings will have what I'm looking for.

Finally!

I finally get to watch seasons 5 & 6 of The L Word!  Woot thank you Netflix!  I'm starting with 1 and working my way up though.  Still going to try to find them on dvd.

Still waiting for it to cool down, it ain't happenin' right now and I'm just sick of summer.

In addition to the 5 kittens we now have 3 pups but I doubt they survive.  They rarely do here.

My Thoughts On A Monday Afternoon . . .

A good thing for me to do daily is:

At night's end empty and rinse the mop bucket and mop.

Right after coffee patrol the premises for trash pick up and sweep.

Well, it's been fun.

Another Bad Day . . .

I've been waiting for the other shoe to fall and it has.  More shit more threats, more misery.  It would be better for me if this place was just pulled out from under me and I was left to the street.  It's sad when something that is yours REALLY isn't, that anyone who wants it can take it away from you.  And that's not just me that's everyone who's reading this.  If you're a conformist you've nothing to fear, not really.  But it's hard to please everyone and someone can start not liking you and there will be nothing you can do about it when they start going after you.  Not unless you're rich and then it's worse.  WAY worse.  I pity the wealthy.  I do.  I'd love to do a survey of them and write a book on the various ways people try to manipulate money from them.  I bet every day there are hundreds.  It's just they can afford to roll with it better than us.  We poor, we just get smushed underfoot.  Because we cannot fight.  So I'll let you know how THIS fight goes, if one ensues, I can't win.  So if you don't hear from me again, you'll know what happened.

So . . .

I'm trying to find a replica of the vase shown on Under the Tuscan Sun.  Impossible, but I figured I could find something SIMILAR.  Possible but gods the COST!  Found a medium aqua vase, very simple, for get this $136!!!  WOW!  So next time I'm in WalMart I'll see what I can find to be MY little keepsake vase.  If y'all find one shoot me a link, alright?  Posting a pic here so you can see what I'm looking for:

I abandoned the search.  I actually found one like it, sort of but decided I don't need it, as I have my own 'special' little vase.  I will get some small silk sunflowers and that will fix me up.

I'm really sad right now, we lost one of the kittens.  I wish I could say it was from illness but unfortunately,  it wandered out and has disappeared, surely to be killed by our terrier 😭 and I am just heartbroken I cannot believe that happened 😭.

I certainly don't want anymore puppies or kittens born here.

I am happy to report, the kitten has surfaced, had NOT gotten outside, is fed and fine!  😄

Another Day of Retrospection . . .

Whenever I plug in Julie & Julia it's a day of retrospection.  Of how instead of having to clean the house, cook a meal I'd rather not eat, and listen to my mother whine, I'd rather be writing.  And should be.  A recent event has prompted yet another beginning I've titled The Phoenix and I have two directions I can go with it.  One is the Oprah Winfrey way and I despise that way and the other caters to a lesser audience and will set my path in the right direction for me.  But it's only a paragraph old yet, and so on I go.

Not that I'm adverse to cooking.  I love to cook, and indeed on my newly formed Amazon wish lists I now have 11 cookbooks waiting for me to plunk down the green.  I also have a recipe box I've been keeping for several decades that is too full to even slip one more clipped recipe in.  I have a few cookbooks also, some I've actually cooked from, and a recipe folder on my hard drive brimming with good eats.  I continually dream of the day Mother is comfortably ensconced in the nursing home and I can garden, cook, and write to my heart's content, because really, that's all I want to do. 

Bleh Kind of Day . . .

On this rainy day I've made some decisions:

1)  I am not going to watch the season opener of  The Walking Dead (listening to Spicks and Specks as I type).  I'll follow the Twitter feed to see who we lost.  I just can't take watching it.

2)  I'm working hard to get a job.  I was going to get up today and start making phone calls but realistically I can't.  I have some preparation I have to do before I can be presentable to people.  The rain is a deterrent.

Other than that there isn't much else going on in my mind other then why does all this shit have to happen to me and at a time when we have absolutely no money to deal with anything.  The air conditioner went out in the living room and we can't replace it.  So on we go.

On A Dark Rainy Day . . .

They finally came out to repair/replace our washing machine.  They couldn't fix it so they replaced it until they could fix ours.  But it's raining so we can't wash anyway, maybe it'll break a little tomorrow and we can get a couple of loads in and dry.  We'll see.  My bedspread is in dire need of cleaning.  So is my comforter.

About the rain it started a few days ago.  It's been on and off raining since but such nice temperatures.  Not out of the 80s.  Watching a Twilight Zone that had to do with the burning times.  Fun.  One more episode and it's a marathon of Hoarders.  Perhaps it'll get me up and cleaning my own home.  Down in my back this morning though, slept wrong or something.

Waiting . . .

For the phone company to come and fix the phone.  For better or worse they gotta come.  I just want it to get over with so I can hit the store for FOOD.  Out of everything.  Woke again hating the world, was doing fine then Mother threw one of her fits and I had to get up and endure, but good I got up a little early so I could get the tweaking done.  Once they leave probably in a day or two I'll move everything out of that corner and get it all cleaned up and finish the rest of the house, give it a nice polish.  That way not so much of a hassle to keep it up.  I need a soda now and to check on the current incense stick, might need to start another one.

I Really Need To Do Something

About Mother.  She is just so miserable and there is nothing I can do about it.  I want to look into respite care.  I talked about it with her once, but when it came to calling them she didn't want to do it.  There is an Adult Day Care around here but I know we won't be able to afford it and I don't know that her insurance covers it.  I'll keep looking.  I don't know what to do I wish I could just shove her in the home and people would leave me the hell alone.  But I just have to ride this until that IS what happens or something I don't know, I just do not know.

Thank Cernunnos!!!!!!

Jack came home thank goodness!  I really didn't think we'd see him again.  Hopefully this taught Mother he can't be let out again until he's been neutered.  I do believe that will help.  I was just thrilled to see him.  I'll sleep better tonight :).

I No Longer Have To Worry . . .

About Jack.  His consistent crying caused Mother to have a meltdown and I had to let him out and he is LONG gone.  We'll never see him again.  So, so much for my beautiful little man.  I'm sure he's quite dead by now I heard dogs barking so I assume they caught and killed him.  But we have the 5 kittens of Misty's for as long as we have them, I hope Mango will thrive and survive, I'm going to make it my mission that he does.  Though I will keep picking at it, when the weather cools in October and November I'm hitting the big guns on finding work.  I need to find, or make sure we have, a suitcase for Mother because she is OUT of here as soon as I find work.  My first concern in October is to attempt to get the title to this property changed over.  We'll see how that goes.  

I'm overwhelmed at the moment, and I can't do a thing to diffuse it.  I need to go outside and sit for a while but I can't.  I just noticed the neighbors across the way are back, partying and have dogs.  Ours are out and about so I'm sure we'll be getting an earful in a short while when ours tangles with theirs.

Limbo . . .

I specifically moved the printer to the tv table so I could use the printer table for my laptop and to color on.  Jack has taken it over.  Perhaps I'll get some use out of it before the tv comes home.  And it WILL come home.

Troubled . . .

I'm going to attempt to get a $50 pawn for my television.  That will cover dog food and cat food, for us I'll hit a food bank if they exist.  We're in dire straits.  I keep thinking next month will be better but no, it never is.  So on I go.  Tried to pawn the laptop yesterday but they DID identify it as being rented from Aaron 's & wouldn't take it.  I am so tired of being like this, if I could just get a job we'd be doing so much better but no everyone has to be assholes.

Holy Cow !!!!!!!

I am literally swimming in extension cords.  We lost a breaker a couple of days ago and to keep things going we had to put stuff on extension cords and reroute it.  HOPEFULLY we won't lose another before we get this one repaired.  It's been a hell of a week and it's not over yet.  So much to do and with the heat so damned little desire to do anything, even with airconditioners.  I really hate the Texas summers.  Being born and raised here doesn't help, it just SUCKS.

A Day in Jack's Life . . .

Jack is back, here he is in his glory:

Up To 4 . . .

Brought a cat home today I named Jack, because he looks a lot like a cat I had that I'd named Jacque.  So I hope he makes it.  I don't think he's as young as was said, he's fully grown and very large, we'll have to get him neutered soon.  Right now he's under the bed, he needs to start getting a little more lovable pretty soon.  Anyway more when more develops.

By the way I got End of Watch by Stephen King and two new coloring books.  Once I can get started on the house I'll be cleaning morning to afternoon then coloring, reading and writing in the evenings.  NOW I gotta go!

Miserably Full . . .

I am never eating again like I ate tonight.  It's ridiculous.  LIGHT MODERATE meals from now on there is no sense putting myself in this misery.  That is my new thing.  MODERATION!  YEA!

School's Out . . .

I may not be going back to chat for a while until school goes back in again, I just can't take the kids in the room.  Where did such stupidity come from with teenagers these days?  GODS!

Sad too because it's too hot to get outside thank goodness I haz a bunches of books and coloring books!  I just finished Finder's Keepers and hope to pick up End of Watch tomorrow.  I'll have to wait a month to get my Amazon order.  But when I do I won't have to physically pay but $20 for it, I have money on my gift card so life's grand there.  Smartest thing I ever did.  I also just downloaded 4 free books on writing onto this Kindle thing I have on my desktop.  I have a bunch of books on it but gods, I hate to read on the computer and I can't put em on my laptop.  But I'll persevere.  Paper books are where it's at.

Funny Story . . .

About this movie collection:

For days and days I've been looking for a free streaming of My Mom's a Werewolf.  I had given up and was browsing movie collections at Amazon and come across this one.  It LOOKED familiar, and when I scanned the titles sure enough, there was My Mom's a Werewolf.  So I added it to my cart.  Still wondering I looked through the collections I've already collected and bam, there it was.  I already had it!  So I deleted it from my amazon cart (replacing it with 2 coloring books) and popped in My Mom's a Werewolf and delightfully watched.  Now I'm watching the rest of them.  Funny!

Today . . .

Today is summer movie trilogy:  Summer Rental, Club Paradise, and One Crazy Summer.  I wish I could go to the beach, this is as close as I can get.

Otherwise I made a fabulous chicken pasta salad, my best yet, and am about to eat some even though it's not thoroughly chilled.  I'm hungry.

So I guess I'll go, not much to say.

I GOT . . .

A PINK KAU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On Neopets I was adopting jubs and there was a glowing one and I went to the pound to see if I could adopt it and up popped a pink kau and WHAM I got him!  He's gorgeous !!!!!!!!  I'm so thrilled!



That is all.

Such Sadness . .. .

Lucy just passed away Sugar won't be far behind.  Right on cue.  Right as expected.  If we can't start spaying these small dogs soon I don't know what I'm going to do.

An Up In The Air Sunday . . ..

So load 2 of laundry in the mix . . . gotta get them on the line soon, battling ants the entire way especially since the rain has set in and everything is flooded.  You'd think (hope) they'd drown.  Maybe 2-3 loads tomorrow, I'm finding stuff all over that needs washing.  I not only get no help here I get a lot of hurt.  So many things that are irritating are compounded.  I don't know the answer I'm so tired of fighting it but I'm so damned stuck.  But we'll see I've not given up.  I just need to find a hole in the clouds.

Later, 9:28 p.m.:  Both Sugar and Lucy are sick, as I knew they would be.  Neither of them will survive.  I'll take the task in the morning to dropper feed them sometimes that works but I'm not hopeful.  I knew not to get attached.

Busy Day Ahead . . .

Just got back from town getting breakfast for me & Mom, Burger King has a 'fully loaded' croissant breakfast sandwich, I got that it was gooooooood and got her just the plain sausage.  Got gas for the car, cash for the lawn man, and the title loan company.  Later we'll pile into the car wade the water out to pay the autoloan and pick up our pizza dinner.  Then back to WalMart for me to get the groceries to last till the 9th.  Then more groceries.  Reminds me I have to make a phone call.

Sabbatical . . .

I can do only a few things on this 5 day Sabbatical.  Journal, write, read, meditate, study.  I started reading a book on druidry but the distractions are still killing me.  I have a dvd running to put me in a 'cleaner' state of mind but it's dark and pouring rain so until some sun comes out I'm still a toad on a log.  I found some excellent meditation videos on YouTube, one I really like and actually already feel better.  I knew I would.  I need to come to grips with things, many things, things I cannot change and those I can, and find the courage to make those changes.  I have a long life ahead of me and it's going to be a while before I can utilize it completely.  But in the meantime I have a lot of studying to do.  More later.

Priorities

I am trying to get my priorities straight, get into a productive, active routine.  I'm too distracted by the computer.  I need to work harder at housework, reading, writing, spirituality.  THESE are the priorities, and these inter-relate.  Growing strong in one means growing strong in all.  I need to do some research on chaos in spirituality, not chaos magick, I'm not into that, but, helping calm chaos, calm a chaotic mind.  I MUST get back on a regular meditation routine.  I know that is the key.  That is my beginning. 

Rest In Peace Thor . . .

My darling boy, you could be a pain in the ass but you were ever sweet and ever vigilant in your job guarding us from evildoers.  Go in peace my little man and run free on all fours :(.

Thor 2008-2016 Rest In Eternal Peace :(

Things Old and New . . .

Mom is complaining that she's out of food, I get that, but we only have a week to go.   I have to go to the store tomorrow with VERY little money to try to get dog food and food for her to eat for the next 5 days.  I THINK I can do it, though not sure.  We'll see.  I'll need a loaf of bread, a couple of cans of cream and a roll of sausage :|

I can't sell cans till Monday, though I may pawn my computer just for a few days until we can get groceries.  I suppose I CAN pawn it they don't HAVE to know it's still being paid for :|  The biggest thing is we're out of soda.  She's addicted.  I miss it too but damn, I can chill for 5 days.  Get SO tired of this.  This is EVERY month.  Might be changing though, I applied for a job at Family Dollar so if they call I am going to try my damnedest to get the job.  It's for customer service rep.  I can do it, and I will do it if they let me.  SHOULD I get the job though I am keeping it hush hush till it's been solid a month or so.  I'm going to put Mother in respite care if I start working so she's not left alone to burn the house down.  I simply have nothing else I can do.  In the mean time I guess I'll apply at the casino, still haven't sent in that app.  But I really don't want to work there.  Time to get things moving for the future.  Before long, I won't have one.

Finally up to the Bs on Neopets.  Bleh.

Trouble . . .

So I'm losing another tooth, the dogs are driving me mad, we've lost another cat (Tygger), more of Mother's greycells have hit the buglight, and with this rain I don't think we're too soon going to get the yardwork done.

Some good news is I've consumed most all of the crap I bought that's not good for me so it will be replaced by food that IS good for me, or at least not quite so harmful.  I THINK we have enough to live on until the 3rd I tried desperately to see that we did.  I think the dogs and cats will be ok not really sure yet.  7 days to go as of tomorrow.  My cravings at the moment are stir fry and peanut butter.  Both healthy so, in it goes.  Unfortunately I want pizza and I'm relatively sure we're going to get it because, well, I want it and I'll have it.  But it's ok, it's just the one time.  I hope we can go without eating at Florida's I can't do that again.  If so I'm getting the bbq sampler plate and that sucker is expensive.

The rain is pouring down it's been rather nervewracking.  A lot of thunder and lightning.  I kept smelling something that smelled like shorting wires, which ALWAYS freaks me out but so far no smoke and it's not noticeable anymore so I hope it's all done.  So on that off I go to relax now that feeding is over with and she's about to tuck in.  Here's hoping for a productive, active day tomorrow.  Gonna try!

A Sincerely Bad Day . . .

Starting with a shitty dream.  But I'm not blogging it, I'm not giving it power.  The neighbors are pissing me off and I'm about to go major pagan on their asses, I've had just about enough of them.  Mother is on my last nerve as well today, but nothing I can do about that in ANY capacity.  It's supposed to rain and oddly, I can't wait for it to, it needs to STORM.

So yesterday I transferred my music file over to the laptop, I downloaded a book I want to read and I want to transfer it over to the laptop and start spending time outside reading, coloring, listening to music and being serene.  I know I can't do that and it's really sad, but surely sooner or later there will be something I can do along those lines.  We'll see.  Know what's neat?  My pink cala lily is blooming!  My little garden is growing exponentially!  I need to take some pics but out of batteries for my camera.  I'll remember them next month.  Watch batteries too.

 So disappointed in the Comeback Kitchen show, the woman I wanted to win didn't.  But them's the breaks.  The pretty girls get em all fuck the real girls.  But I'll still watch Food Network Star, I already have a fav and will cheer them on, even though they probably won't win either.

More later maybe I've begun to ramble.

12 Day Countdown . . .

12 days to payday.  I think we have enough food, we have enough dry dog food, plenty of dry cat food, so we'll see how it goes.  I hate going broke midmonth but we always do.  So on we go.  I always hope the following month will be better than the last.

More Rain . . .

It's raining again, not hard but enough to be annoying.  I brought my blanket in I hope it's dry I want to put it on my bed tonight, I think it is it felt dry and it's a thin blanket.  Worried about Snoopy though he went out and hasn't come back he doesn't usually stay out when it rains.  Annie's with him so, they could be in Austin by now knowing her.  The new washer is working well up to this point, I wanted to do a load of clothes but it started to rain so flushed that out.

Otherwise the day is uneventful and useless as is most days here lately.  Still trying to get  the Indians to look me over for a casino position and WalMart for a night stocker position.  I see the local Sunoco station is hiring but I really don't want to go there again.  Too much of a hassle.  I can't handle it.

I love my lappy I hope I don't have to pawn it but likely I will.  We're running short and Mother is on one of her tears so . . . there that is. Well I better go call for Snoops to come home maybe he will.  More later maybe.

Life's Little Annoyances . . .

I hope I have this set right, on the laptop and it's not as forgiving as the PC.  So I was trying to set up my broadcast on the laptop, ain't gonna work on it.  Don't know why.  I left it to come up for broadcast and took a shower and it still wasn't up when I got back so I guess I'll set it up on the PC again.  Sucks, that would have worked out so much better.  But I can still do the uploads to YouTube that I want to do so sooner or later I'll get started on it.  But there it is and here I am dripping and kinda bored.  When the hair dries a tad I'll so something not sure what.  I'd like to color a little but the eyes are still bugging me and its annoying having to wear glasses all the time.  More later, gonna piddle.

My Eyes . . .

Having the worst trouble with my eyes.  Very blurry vision today, having to wear readers just to see on the computer, the script ones don't work, and for the PC readers don't work.  Need drops.  Hope tomorrow finds them feeling better, hell even later today if you don't mind!  They are gummy when I wake in the morning and usually clear in a little while, but not now.  Not at all.

Annie had come home but she's gone again as is Snoopy mother let her out as she is apt to do so I'm hoping they come on back home, I don't know where they disappear to but one of our neighbors is an asshole and will shoot them, or make trouble for us so they need to come home.

Getting going on some of the projects I made for myself yesterday but not as wholeheartedly as I'd hoped, the eye thing is the biggest bother, just kind of worried.  But I'm doing lunch now and after that I have to make a dollar store run for coffee and bread and will settle in after that for a while.  It's been raining so I DO hope they deliver our washing machine tomorrow we HAVE to have it, that reminds me I need to get detergent at the dollar store.  I'll see what they have cheap.  More later gotta check on the microwave.

A Good Day LUCKY Friday 13th!

So, I went to the mailbox to get Mother's gowns that had been delivered FINALLY today, and there was this hot pink flyer in there.  I was about to toss it when I decided to open it.  Turns out the rental place we use is having a customer appreciation sale today and tomorrow and not only were we able to procure a washing machine but a laptop as well!  I'm hoping to hear soon if the laptop can be picked up today the washer will get here Monday before 3.  In the meantime my athame and stones also got here and I'm plotting a permanent outdoor altar.  Full moon is next Friday so hoping to have it up by then.  AND I won on lotto the third time in a row, $5 so won our money back, parlaying it back into 5 more tickets, even though we didn't win the 1.2 mil, $200,000 would go a long way for us!  So on to finish out this LUCKY Friday the 13th! 

Winning The Lottery . . .

Last night we won $7 on the Texas Two Step, the time before that $5.  Parlaying the tickets into 5 more Texas Two Step and a Mega Millions and a Lotto Texas.  Nice to be on the winning side for a while, now for big bucks please!!

Otherwise it's me who has to clean the house today so after breakfast, on with it.  More later perhaps.

I Am Just DUMBFOUNDED . . .

I finally found (or she found me) my long lost BFF from high school.  Got home today from Mother's outing at the state park (which went wonderfully, by the way) and logged in to the fam FB to upload the pictures and had a message from her.  I nearly fucking DIED!!!!!!!  OMGs!!!!!!!!!!  Unfucking real.  So I forwarded her FB to our OTHER high school friend so the 3 muskateers are together again!!!!!!!! Ohhhh myyyyyyyyyy!

Woke Up Annoyed, But Energized . . .

As I was sleeping I was dreaming about that APS bitch coming back so I'll be housecleaning to beat the band today, suits me because I'm restarting logging my calorie intake and trying to get at least an hour of exercise every day.  So we'll see how it goes.  My goal this month is 5 pounds and DAMMIT I should have weighed before I ate but hell, I didn't.  I was finally shaken from a light sleep by my bff sending me a picture on my phone, I'll have to waddle over to facebook to see everything she's put there.  My plants are doing lovely all of them now to get my planting done, time's a wasting!

Just went to check the mail, the nightgowns I ordered have arrived, now to get my amazon order.  Part of it will be here Tuesday, but that's a gift but I can't SEND it till the rest of the order gets here.  I'm gifting part of the citrine I ordered to Ba'lith, and some of the sodalite depending on how much I get.  Off to start my day will sleep beautifully tonight!

Lights Out!

Lights just came back on from being out for a few minutes, maybe a little over half and hour.  Amazing how like a week it seemed.  I instantly picked up a half finished short story collection but was too sleepy and it was too dark to read it.  Tried to nap but Mother was restless.  When Snoopy and Annie came in they stank, and stink, to high heaven, of fish . . . I could kill these people around here.  Surely there is a more secure place to put your fishtrash so dogs can't get into them.  Yea I know we should keep our dogs penned up but you know the answer to that one.  So I lit a simmerpot and am hoping for the best.

Our washing machine was pronounced dead today and so literally for the month we cannot do laundry until we can get another one at the rental place.  To the folks around the Livingston Texas area WalMart . . . so sorry, when we get a new washer we can do laundry.  Until then, deal with it, we're poor.

So that's all the news fit to print, so I'll go on and do bigger and better things, like, a broadcast for my chatters.  C'ya on the flipflop!

MEDIC!!!!!!!!!!!

OMGs we just ate at Florida's Kitchen again and I think I'm gonna bust.  NOTHING is small there even if it SAYS small on the menu.  I got the usual stuffed potato, and they delivered this HUGE potato I've never seen one so big, and half is now in the fridge.  So I thought just this once I'd get a slice of cheesecake, thought it would be a dainty slice and it was a HUGE hunk.  So I'm about to bust.  We overspent a wee tad at dollar general but got a good deal on soda.  I thought we were going to be a bit ahead but no, we have to get the washer repaired at that's $60 just for the guy to come LOOK at it.  If it's going to be a lot to fix it we won't be able to so I'll be back to the laundromat until we can.  We will still indulge in $5 lottery tix, big jackpots on 3 games we play so hell, ya never know, right?  So on that I shall make my preparedness to go to WalMart and get the doggy, kitty, squirrelly and birdy food and food for us to last till the 9th.  Onward and forever forward.

Hopeful . . .

Here's hoping June comes out like I'm hoping.  If so I'll have a purple HP laptop and we'll be a lot better off.  I'm trying to find something comparable at WalMart but it ain't happening.  Theirs start at $199.  Anything cheaper than that is the small Acers I don't want that.  As is I'm still trying to throw my Amazon cart into the Order Now mode.  I want that citrine and the athame!

In other news it rained last night and today, it's been wet ever since.  I've been house cleaning I'm about to finish the living room and the hallway and bathroom.  Sick of everything being in such a mess.  Anyway more later maybe going to browse some stuff.

Another Week Bites the Dust . . .

Didn't do much today, really didn't do anything.  Tomorrow is the go to day to start projects for me.  And many do I have to do.  A lot of activity going on Tuesday so the house has to be ship shape.  Well, as ship shape as I can get it which ain't much.  The mosquitoes are already quite bad so I don't know about outdoor activity like I planned.  I'm plotting something but not sure yet what to do to bring it to fruition.  But I'm working on it.  It starts with seed planting!  Anyway going to go now and I think color more mushrooms.  I color them 3, 6, 9 at a time and have to stop for interruptions.  So more later perhaps.

SO Pissed . . .

I've gotten into the habit of making myself a snack before bed.  It could be chicken nuggets, a mini pizza, pizza rolls . . . tonight it was some meatballs that were in the freezer that I didn't want to be in there any longer for fear they'd spoil, and I was hungry so I put them in the microwave and brought them back to my room to eat them as I always do.  But I had to help Mother go to bed and so I put the meatballs up high on the desk because I know my chihuahua Peanut can get up on the desk and I thought they were where she couldn't reach them . . .but. . . they weren't.  She got em and ate what of them I'd not been able to eat, about 8 I think.  GODS I was furious.  But my fault I should have either put them elsewhere or wolfed them down.  This place is so chaotic!  So!

Storm Damage

This came down yesterday on the property behind us.

Luckily no damage was done to the house.

Thank Ceridwen!!!

We had a super storm hit last night, or early in the morning.  Massive wind, lightning and thunder, we lost power.  As of  10:00 this morning they had not been restored and apparently the outage was over several counties.  So I called Pat to see if they had power, they did, and she told us to come over which I didn't want to do because I hate leaving this house unprotected, but mother insisted JUST so she could get some coffee.  We had lunch there and came on home.  As we left we called Earl to see if the lights had come on Sheila said they did come on about 5 minutes before our call so they were on when we got home.  The house was hot but hopefully will cool down quickly.  Snoopy and Annie just came home so they are here and safe.  Life's good now let us remain in peace!

Playing . . .

Playing with my new SD Portable Card Reader I got yesterday for $5.  Normally it's $8 but this one was marked down because the package had been opened.  I took a chance and it works, just popped this one of Shadow:

I have to work on her coat, her mother practically scalped her she has bare patches so I need to get her flea treatment, a good shampoo for her coat and she needs to be wormed.  She'll be 5 months old next month and is still teeny tiny, I don't see her getting much bigger, if at all.

Anyway the card reader on my computer died so I had to get another one, I'd been using my webcam but that's annoying so I'm glad I can go back to using my Vivitar camera and card.

Another Celebrity Dies . . .

The music industry lost Prince today, he was 57.  Cause of death is speculative, but it was sudden so I'd say heart attack, aneurism or stroke.

Otherwise it was a day like any other, rained again I hope for sunshine tomorrow have much laundry to do.  Wishing the month would go ahead and end so Payday will get here and we could do SOMETHING.  But it will soon enough.  Now I need to feed pets.  More on the morrow perhaps.  RIP Prince.  

When It Rains It Floods . . .

Here at least.  Our yard and road looks like a lake.  Snoopy and Annie came home from their romp soaking wet and muddy paw to snout.  Ayyiyi.  Got a little done today hope to get a little more done tomorrow, still having family trouble, will until the family is all dead.  But faring as best I can.  Picked my next coloring WIP, some mushrooms, can't wait to get them going I have great ideas on how to color em.  I need to get out to some flea markets around here and see about pairing up with someone to do readings.  But I have a lot of work to do to get more comfortable doing that for non-friends, though most I've done have been well received and very accurate.  We'll see, that is really what I want to do from now on.

Getting Ready for a Deluge . . .

We have a good chance of rain for at least the next 8 days.  Another flood I guess.  Oreo is in heat so we're having to keep Rusty, Tiny Tim, and Thor out which, they stay out mostly so that's no problem.  Snoopy doesn't seem to want to go out as much, he still has a wound under his leg.  Peanut's 3 pups are still thriving we'll see how that goes.

Chicken pasta salad today, I've been craving it.  SO good.  I'll start it around one or two.